you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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