Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Randomize
