Can i not drive my cunt home
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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