and she was petting her beer can
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
