Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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