Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Randomize
