If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
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