So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
i came on her dog
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
