She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I understand Curling. That high.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
