I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
