fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
