he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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