We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
