Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
