he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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