she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
