I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize
