Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
