i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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