Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize
