I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
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