I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
