I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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