this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
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If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
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I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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