I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize