A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize