I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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