what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
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