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In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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