Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
