i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize
