Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
