I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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