piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
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