i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Farmville is her only friend.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Randomize
