The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
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