vagina is talking i cant
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
