i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Randomize
