Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
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