I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
