A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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