is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
