I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Randomize
