he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
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