How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Randomize
