2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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