I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
