You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
This girl is more easily done than said...
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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