:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
