Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
