chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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