I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
