I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day ππ#pensacolaproblems
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
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