I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
My pussy is not your playground.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
