she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
This toilet bowl is my home.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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