from now on my penis is your penis
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
