When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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