I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize