she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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